How I look isn’t much of my business anymore.
My friend said the other day, “You know we weren’t supposed to have mirrors, we were only ever supposed to see ourselves in puddles”.
I love this orange because it’s the Joy I sometimes feel. My joy sitting out yesterday morning on my back porch with a hot coffee in my dressing gown wondering how I got to be the age mum was when I was born. I wore it to mum’s funeral, the jumper, even though it’s neon. I wanted to.
I feel beautiful feelings inside. The grief is beautiful too. After the sting comes the parting of clouds and a breath that bellows deeper than before. I appreciate myself deeply. I’m softer than I realised. I used to be a cactus. Perhaps it’s safer now to relax. I don’t need to change.